The Beauty and D-Beast

A Dutertard’s Tale

No this is not a love story.  Not in a boy meets girl and happy ever after kind of way. This is about politics, greed, vanity, deceit, lies, manipulations, money (lots of it), power. Yes, power! The kind that makes one intoxicated with one’s spirit, one’s delusions of grandeur, one’s self-glorification. The adulation of I, me and mine.

Once upon the present, as in today, in a land so close,  D-Beast is chosen by the people to lead them. Not because of his potty mouth nor his uncouth behavior nor his tough guy mentality and his revulsion of protocols nor his age and looks which are suited more to bad guys in bad movies. He is elected because he does what he says and says what he does.  Plus, he seems to really care for his people. Sometimes unable to express himself, he acts instead.

Now, there is this unfortunate country, the beautiful Belippines. Her beauty is so overwhelming, the Spaniards, the Americans, the Japanese were not able to control their bestial desires and raped her repeatedly until they have screwed her brains out. So much so, that the people ingrained into themselves their being  slaves and inferior to anything foreign.

Now, D-Beast comes along and starts to change things up. He fires all the crooks, terminates drug dealers, lords and kingpins, makes the government works, curses the once invaders and rapists and the people applaud. But not all. The old power wielders, the oligarchs, the civil society, the traditional politicians, the human rights activists and those misplaced by D-Beast’s administration see not only their ultimate demise but the impossibility of a comeback to power if ever D-Beast succeeds.

Enter Gastollanes. The mutineer turned senator has sold his services to the highest bidder while feigning love of Belippines. So he concocts charges against D-Beast and coaches willing witnesses to make his charges stick. He is assisted by his Magda-low brethren and by the Europeans with Monsieur Pedoph in the lead. D-Beast is threatened and impeachment complaint is filed.  Gastollanes and Magda-low beef up their witnesses for hire while the Europeans ready their trade sanctions. Meanwhile, D-Beast takes it all in stride and with a curse says bring it on.

The showdown looms and  and in the holy week (of all seasons) before the Senate and Congress  return from their Mardigras-like craziness of a break,  the forces line up ready to do battle. Belippines on the  verge of another catastrophe.

Just like in any story or fairy tale, the writer opts to make what is right and justified win. That the greater good is served. But this  is the Belippines where a rapist wins an election from prison and a president chides a calamity victim, “you’re still alive, what the eff are you complaining about?” But that is an unwelcome digression. So back to the story.

D-Beast called his main lieutenants, cabinet secretaries and confidants on the eve of the impeachment hearing. There is sadness on his face that has never been seen. So many years of public office have taken their toll. He is, after all,  an old man of 72 with a litany of sickness a young man will not endure.

In a soliloquy punctuated by grunts and curses, he laments, questions and just resigns to his fate. ” I have served my people, I have fought for them, I have tried my  best. But the task can not be accomplished with all the road blocks I am facing. I have staked my life, my honor and the presidency itself. I said I don’t care whether I will finish my term or not, whether I live or die. Death is a certainty none of us will be able to foretell.  I am just frustrated that the people’s well being is being made a road kill because of ambitions and greed for power. Why can’t they give me the chance to improve my country, to alleviate the condition of my suffering people? I am old. I may be good for a couple more years. Five if I’m lucky.  They can wait and in their sweet time, the opportunity will open up. Just let this time be for the people.”

There is only silence and the occasional sighs and grinding of teeth. He looks at each of those he trusted with eyes from a long ago of hopes and dreams. ” I will have to go.  I have fought the good fight. But somebody else must finish the race. It is not because I am afraid. I am too old to be afraid. But I must protect the people from their own wrath. They should know and realize that this president cares for them even at the exchange of his own peril. I will not let them go into a bloodbath.”

Slowly they leave with heavy feet and heavier hearts.  Tears are falling without shame. On Good Friday, when the Son of God sacrificed his life for man’s salvation a long time ago, D-Beast offers himself for his people.

And that is when Gastollanes wakes from a dream he fashions as his rise to fame, power and fortune!

No, the battle is not over. Eighty three percent of Belipinos support D-Beast! He is the greatest chance they got to make Belippines be the country they have dreamt of, all their lives. Losing this chance, giving up on D-Beast can only mean back to the quagmire of corruption, of drugs, of crimes, of poverty, of pain and sufferings. No! They will fight and shed blood if need be. They will fill the streets. They will stop the hordes of evil. They will frustrate the power hungry and make Belipinos proud again. They will own their country, once and for all.

The dawn is breaking on Easter Sunday as the faithfuls listen to the Words of God. On their lips is a prayer borne out of  hundreds of years of oppression and exploitation. In their hearts is a resolve pledged with life and faith.

It is a glorious time in  the Belippines. There is a happy ending after all.

The End.






About danmeljim

Dan Jimenez was the Editor in Chief of The Corps Magazine from 1976 to 1977. After graduation, he never abandoned his ideas and continued writing. On October 1983, as a young Navy Lieutenant, he wrote an open letter addressed to Salvador Laurel who was then a leader of the opposition against President Marcos. It was published by almost all the dailies and earned for him the commendation of PMAAA, Inc. He immigrated to the US in 1986 but continued to write about the country of his birth. He has defended the Philippine Military Academy against claims of it being a Philippine Monetary Academy and a corrupt institution. Very recently, he posted commendation of Gen Bato de la Rosa and castigation of Senator Sonny Trillanes, which went viral. He continues to believe that "Ideas must reign supreme because personalities and individuals are as fleeting as the seasons." Always a plebe in his thinking, he will live by the adage: "The greatest failure is that never attempted."
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